Hope

Is Something Wrong with Me?

As Creative Genius, your brain wiring is different. When you work against the way your brain works, the very traits that help you excel are like sugar in your gas tank. You struggle with routine tasks, to make it to meetings on time or to honor the simplest commitments.

But when you tap into your unique abilities, you excel. You’re wired for creativity, innovative thinking, lightning fast reactions, unwavering determination and single-mindedness.

When something piques your interest, you have boundless energy to throw behind your uniquely wired brain. You hyperfocus and work around the clock, ignoring anything in your way.

Under the right conditions, you will thrive, you’re definitely NOT broken! But when I tell my clients this they ask, “So if I’m not broken, why does my life suck?”

Why Does Life Suck?

And it can really suck!  My husband, Duane, has ADHD. His struggle to overcome his challenges is legendary (more on that in a minute), and it was our battle (all uphill!) to save his career, our relationship, our finances and our family that inspired us to develop this program together.

I promised I’d share more about Duane’s struggles. What Duane and I both want you to understand by sharing this is that there is hope, no matter how hopeless your situation feels.

Once upon a time…

It was a whirlwind romance.  I’d naively hoped Duane’s marriage proposal a month after our first (blind!) date signaled the end of his recklessness and thrill-seeking. But, impulsive as ever, he was thrown out of the army and roamed from job to job – sales, clerk, programmer, teacher, project manager…  Bright and capable, he’d get bored. Or worse, he excelled and they’d promote him. Then he’d get overwhelmed. He often quit only to avoid being fired.

Setting Records for Impulsivity

The first time he quit, I freaked out!  I was home with our 3-month-old daughter wondering how we’d pay the mortgage. I felt terrified, vulnerable and helpless.  Duane is laser-focused in a crisis (the only time!), so in desperation he landed three part-time jobs. But I was a wreck anticipating his next “career suicide.”

After crossing the country (twice) chasing his latest “opportunity of a lifetime,” I put my foot down.  Pick a job and stick to it!  He loved his job, but it soon overwhelmed him and he couldn’t deliver the goods.  He worked day and night, but couldn’t focus, get organized or follow through.

When It Hurts Enough…

Duane was thrilled when his hard work seemed to pay off. His boss, who happened to be president, told him he had a bright future at the company. He then asked Duane to take over chairing a departmental meeting. Duane jumped at this chance to prove his leadership skills.

Then the fateful day arrived.  Crunch time; sitting in the conference room, someone asked why the boss hadn’t arrived yet.  No one knew.  Not even Duane!  Incredibly, he had forgotten his boss, the president’s request.  Clueless, he suggested everyone return to work and he’d call them when the boss arrived.

When his boss arrived, he could only glare incredulously at Duane. This man he’d been grooming for big things explained, “You were late so we went back to work.” It would be years before Duane shared the gut-wrenching pain of his humiliation as the president berated him.  But he’d dreaded even more telling me he had once again let me down.

I loved him. But my faith in my husband had been ground down by “friends” and family telling me (for my own good!), I was a sucker. Wanting and wishing for more from Duane was futile. I’d have been ecstatic if he’d remembered my birthday!

Devastated, Duane thought, “Time for a change!”, but I wasn’t about to pack up and leave (again!) I wasn’t sure our marriage would last. The few hours he wasn’t at work, Duane was as unfocused and disorganized at home. I felt like the only adult in our family.

Spiraling out of control, Duane delivered a project late (at double what he’d bid!) Ready to fire him (as miserable as Duane was, it would have been a relief!), Duane’s boss demoted him, but insisted things change. We needed help.